Research shows that there are typically five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
But what if there are more? What if someone experiences emotions different from the ones listed above?
What if you feel numb… not shocked, but numb.
You feel sad, but not loss.
You feel anxious and distressed, but also relieved.
… what if?
That’s the premise of Pagglait, starring Sanya Malhotra as Sandhya Giri who is about a young widow whose husband Astik died within five months of their marriage.
The film follows the 13 days Hindu funeral rites of Astik, performed by various members of the family.
While the rituals take place like clockwork, Sandhya finds herself in a strange situation where she’s unable to grieve at the sudden demise of her husband.
Everyone looks out for her and give her space to come to terms with the episode. However, there isn’t much left for her to acknowledge or even react to.
Or so we think – till the story unfolds the various aspects of her relationships, her upbringing and even her outlook on life.
Writer-Director Umesh Bisht has delicately crafted a charming and wholesome experience in a film that gives a glimpse into a typical dysfunctional Indian family, without getting preachy.
Pagglait introduces us to family members and friends who are familiar to us all.
There’s a pretentious uncle who loves to boast about his worldly knowledge, an aunt who doesn’t miss an opportunity to taunt, a cynical son who reluctantly obeys the elders, a best friend who refuses to give up on you, and even a nagging mother who means well but is stuck in her orthodox ways to protect her child.
You may encounter situations that are ordinary in society, but will make you uncomfortable.
You will be nudged to question the status quo that have become a norm for far too long – but only with a hint of judgement.
The practice of patriarchy in a “modern” household, casual religious intolerance, family elders who impose regulations for everyone to follow, the foundation of an unhealthy marriage and even a woman’s financial independence – the makers give the viewers an opportunity to simply ponder over the issues without being too dramatic.
The magic of Pagglait lies in its simplicity and the moments shared in silence – the moments between characters as well as the ones shared by Sandhya with herself.
It is essentially about Sandhya navigating through the different stages of grief and loss.
NOTE: This is not a film review but my thoughts and emotions felt while watching Pagglait – Spoilers ahead !!
Numbness:
Sandhya’s feeling of numbness isn’t from her lack of emotions, but lack of purpose and depth in the relationship with her late husband.
She feels indifferent with the absence of her husband because he was hardly present when he was alive.
Relief:
Sandhya had suppressed her emotions of love, romance and intimacy in her marriage, that it involuntarily controlled her. Perhaps it also controlled her appetite for something more in life.
The death of her husband somehow provided an outlet to set her free from the obligations of her circumstances and archaic notions of marital responsibilities … and made room for some “pleasure-inducing” cravings.
Anxiety & Agitation:
Sandhya feels anxious and agitated when she learns about Astik’s love affair / past relationship that was more intimate than the one she shared with him.
When she comes face-to-face with his ex-girlfriend Aakanksha Roy (played by Sayani Gupta), her instant reaction is of jealousy and hate.
She feels exactly how a wife would – she feels cheated by her life partner, resentful, and even hopeless because she can’t quite confront the (dead) culprit.
Bargaining:
Sandhya realizes there was more to Astik than the detached relationship they shared. And the only way to make peace with her present is to find out about his past, to possibly get to know a side of him she couldn’t.
She befriends Aakanksha, who could’ve or would’ve been “the other woman”, but for Sandhya she became her guiding light – more on this later…
Guilt:
Sandhya never saw Astik the way Aakanksha did.
She never experienced his love the way Aakanksha did.
She never appreciated him or was appreciated by him.
She may have wanted to know more about Astik through Aakanksha’s memories, but it opened a can of worms which pushed Sandhya from a state of numbness to inconsolable guilt and regret.
A highly qualified woman with the ability to be independent had inadvertently chosen to be constrained within the confines of patriarchy.
She was conditioned to allow others to make her decisions and plan the course of her life.
Even her marriage to Astik was nothing more than an achievement for successfully completing all the prerequisites to find a “suitable” partner with “security”.
She storms out of Aakanksha’s home learning more about herself than Astik; she is suddenly aware of her flaws and faults as well.
Acceptance:
As mentioned earlier – the magic lies in the moments shared in silence that speaks louder than any dialogue… and that’s how Sandhya finally accepts her fate.
There’s a scene when she wears Astik’s blue shirt for few minutes and then takes it off, looking deep into the mirror.
There is no exchange of words or tears, but in those few seconds she feels the closest to her husband.
In a way, she shares a moment of silence to reconcile with him, forgive him for never loving her, and maybe even forgive herself.
Sandhya moves into the state of acceptance as though a foggy cloud has been lifted off her mind, finally clearing out her vision.
Calm:
Though acceptance is typically the final stage of grief, Sandhya possibly experiences a bonus – state of calmness !
What seemed like an odd friendship between Aakanksha and Sandhya actually helped our protagonist get closure and grow.
Sandhya sees Aakanksha as a financially independent woman with poise, polished nails, promising career and a partner who loved her, all of which encouraged her to break away from her self-imposed boundaries.
She probably even sympathizes with her – a woman who appears to have it all at the surface, was refused the right to marry a man she loved.
Perhaps no one can truly have it all …
[I won’t reveal much here – you have to watch the film to see how it ends ! ]
Popcorn Rating: 
[4.5 / 5 pops]
Writer/Director: Umesh Bist
Cast: Sanya Malhotra, Sayani Gupta, Shruti Sharma, Ashutosh Rana, Sheeba Chaddha, Natasha Rastogi, Raghubir Yadav, Rajesh Tailang, Nakul Roshan Sahdev
Producer: Shobha Kapoor, Ekta Kapoor, Guneet Monga, Achin Jain
Runtime: 115 minutes
Pagglait is streaming on Netflix.
